Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through
the minds of either.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from the Eiffel Tower says, midway, “See I am not injured yet.”

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

Resign: Future tense for employment

Wife: Person that steals your money legally

Tax: Black mail by the goverment

“Merry Merry Christmas And Advance Happy New Year To Everyone!!! – CPU Nursing Class 1969″

-Philip

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE by Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
Enough money within her control to move out
And rent a place of her own,
Even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
Something perfect to wear if the employer,
Or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
A youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
A past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
Retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …..
A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
One friend who always makes her laugh… And one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….
A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
And a recipe for a meal,
That will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
A feeling of control over her destiny…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
How to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
How to quit a job,
Break up with a lover,
And confront a friend without;
Ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.
When to try harder… And WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
That she can’t change the length of her calves,

The width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
That her childhood may not have been perfect…but it’s over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
What she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.
How to live alone, even if she doesn’t like it

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
Whom she can trust,
Whom she can’t,
And why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
Where to go…
Be it to her best friend’s kitchen table..
Or a charming Inn in the woods…
When her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
A month…and a year…

AND REMEMBER:

GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE STARS.
YOU DON’T ALWAYS SEE THEM,

BUT YOU ALWAYS KNOW THEY ARE THERE!!!!!!